Dialogue with a young meditator.

Apr 14, 2004 - email to a young meditator

True, but once you succeed in that, there are other meditations in which everything you think of comes true right before your eyes. It is wise though to listen once in a while before we go on blindly co-creating.
Your meditation probably concentrates on building up chi (physical body awareness), a good thing to do. Try though meditating with the tv or radio on, in the understanding that you are made of the same consciousness of that which surrounds you, then use some higher consciousness to steer the quality of your surroundings into teaching you about itself.
[ok niles, now you can accuse me of telling people to seek spiritual guidance - not 'guides' though, that's a bit more problematic.]
You have a fragile ego though {I'm probably being too personal for a forum}, so the challenge for you will be in maintaining your ego while doing things which tend to wipe it out. One balance is to lose the ego in meditation, then when you come back down, take pride in those meditations. If (not saying you are) you have a strong sense of lustful personal power-hungry ego in your meditations, which your spirit voice supports, you are in most dangerous realms, which will lure you to catastrophic demise. Not every spiritual option is good. You always have choices, and anything that suggests that you 'have to' be a certain way (rather than 'should'), is also probably not in your global interest. Alas, there is also something called 'leap of faith', which means your guardian spirit is as helpful as you trus it. If you don't trust it, it will let you down (because it is a reflection of your own faith and trustworhiness).
Long ago my spiritual life was tearing me apart from worldly life. We live in the body, so strive for a non-dualistic harmony between earth and spirit which gives you both worldly and spiritual growth options, rather than making you bitterly set one realm against another. Meditating on 'good' chi forces is one grounding way to do this. I have seen people who meditate on fire become saintly, but somehow they get past lower red fires, and reach gold-white fires. I don't know how they do it, and thus can't recommend such a path. I've only seen violent experience come violent energy. I would recommend transmuting such energy into invigorating action. I used to turn my frustrations into 3 day painting/sculpting marathons, working with flaming spray cans on canvasses on a chopping block. It wasn't transmutive, and the final art pieces were haunted, but at least the energy was contained, and not broadcast to continue my reacting against.

"oook i just rememberd i left something out....uhhh yah out i must go get it *flees as fas as he can from the weird man*

oh and that letter you wrote probably just got filed.... in the paper shredder"

Possibly, but I've also been directly on the phone with COO's and VP's of computer companies, Disney, Coca-Cola, power companies, congressmen, and worked directly with a presidential candidate mgr. I've also had plenty of friends and family directly heading aerospace engineering (regarding this instance). I was too exhausted and rushed, or I would have tried to get Arnold (or his staff) on the phone, and not risked a lost letter. I'm the sort of person whom, when I show up at a large public event, end up back-stage talking with the speakers. The opportunities which come way are 'Cardinal' in that sense, though much more anonymous. I get a lot more done working through parallel manifestation though (my creative meditations coming true).

People think that the world is run by mysterious kabal's. It's not. As I keep rising through spiritual and social systems, I find the people I thought had power are as clueless as myself, and think there's some secret kabal working above them. The people who run things will generally invite anyone who looks like they know what they are doing into their midst. They are just people, like you and I. I is the people who are either arrogant, or consider themselves lowly, who don't get such opportunity.

Apr 19

i like keeping my karma and meditave energy away from others becaus if i do such things with others no one else cares but its only because im 18 and my friends dont belive in such stuff. but then agin there unhappy as the result.me i wake up to the sunrise meditate practice bushido get exausted then going back to meditation and then go in side and continue with the day... it is lovely

Well, you can't really keep it away from others, just be quiet and pretend it doesn't exist. In fact, if you really are trying to exert will on circumstances or others (hopefully for good), the spell usually breaks if you go announcing your involvement. It's a thankless humble job, keeping things running smoothly.
Back when my thoughts were miserable, and I was afraid of power, I did try to keep my energy to myself. The worst was when my step-dad got a new car, and I was grouchy about it for some stupid reason, and wished it harm. The next morning, a cement truck careened out of control, landed on his hood, thankfully bounced over the compartment, and crushed the trunk. He got like a scratch on his forehead, but the car was totalled. I was afraid to even think back then. It really sucked.

I find quite a lot of people who believe in such stuff, but I'm the only person they'd confide in about it. My point being, you're probably not as alone as you think. Adults are probably worse in the secrecy respect though. I hear that out in the bible belt states they'll practically have you locked up for even talking about such stuff. The mainstream church (catholics, etc) has always been down on allowing it's mystical roots. They tell you don't you dare try this stuff, but if you succeed, they label you a saint. I figure their weird sexual taboos are actually planned as an enticement too. I've run into new-age teachers who, if you tell them that you are experiencing the very things they teach are possible for people, will call you possessed. Eventually, I found many mystical friends, but one should be prepared at the start for a lonely outcast life to pursue it.

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Apr 22

I was worried you'd jump to those clichés. That's not what i meant.
1) Do you even know you are? It's not even the part of you which says 'I', so if that changes, so what.
2) In the cliché sense, maintain your integrity and values.
but 3a) To be friends with someone you have to connect and exchange with them. b) to connect with them you have to understand them. c) to understand them, you have to experience what and how they are experiencing. d) to have that internal experience, you have to become something you have never been before. Only a friendship with your clone would involve no change, and we practically do that anyhow when we amuse ourselves home alone with our thoughts, which isn't what you are after.

Think of a war advocate and a peace advocate. If the peace advocate had only the prior experiences and understandings of the war advocate, they too would be a war advocate. If they wish to be a true friend of the war advocate, they have to be willing to really see the position the other person is coming from. The inevitable result is the tao te ching, the middle road of zen, because creation offers no positions without counter positions which make as much sense.

In the meantime, choose friends whom have qualities you would enjoy being, or at least understanding. Fate has a way of throwing us people that we really want to know, who are half like us, much in common already to share, yet half entirely not like us, much to learn. Some people just hang out with another half and let them be that half forever, others avoid that half, and keep revisiting it in every new person they meet (one of those pattern things), and others take on the understandings of their others, after which the people they meet will have new forms of opposite.

It's true that absolute lack of change will bring you back to the source of creation and your own source, the real you, but that light is also the void. Creation is experience; experience is change and contrast. It's good to know that you are at the center of creation, but once there, it's like let there be light, adam naming all the new animals, God? God who? I didn't hear you calling. I have emperors new clothes now.

I think we've scared away the sleeping cells of the matrix by now.

Apr 23

In a sense, you can't have your cake and eat it too. It depends on what you mean by creativity. In the mundane sense sure, in the spirtual sense, sure, but they are two different sorts of creativity, and two different sorts of you. You can't mix and match them, at least not easily, and those who do are known as sorcerors, not saints (and still aren't happy because because what they create also creates opposite karma for them).

As to those lyrics, if they hold true for you, you're still doing something wrong. It's delicate, you do have to be firm when you are right. Being good must not be mistaken for martyristic sacrifice. Rather than put others first, manage yourself as a traffic sattelite would efficiently manage an intersection. Don't jump ahead if doing so will make 20 other cars wait. {my spell is to get green lights when I am in a hurry (praying the others are not), and my share of red lights when I have time to sight-see. That's in a good sorceror state; When I'm in a more saint state, thinking of nothing but God, the lights all tend to be green for me anyhow, without my even thinking about it. At such times, I am liberated, waving hello to other people on the road, and having them wave back.} There is physical karma and emotiional karma. The former usuallly is engineered to serve the latter; If you do people favors, cursing them under your breath while sacrificing yourself, nothing good will come back to you. If you lovingly give away a dollar, letting go of it in peace, with sincere belief that it will do them more good than you, then, when you are physically desperate a week later, (but still letting go of misery, having faith things will work out), someone will drop by to hand you a ten. Your exchanges should generally feel good. If you feel that you are being used, it's probably a mistake. Righteous giving, by the rules, as many christians are fond of, is BS. People who do things with the motive of deserving grace and respect get none. In ll religions there is a dark side and a light side, and a sincere side and a rhetoric side. When I discriminate, it's not against any faith, but against how genuine they are. People are on different paths, so I hold them accountable to the yardstick within their own reach, not mine. I also hold firmly onto 'Forgive them, for they know not what they do'. Everyone, given their experiences, thinks they are doing the appropriate thing, even if it's stealing cars. I meet everyone half-way, respecting them where they respect themselves, but staying objective about the actions they do which I can not respect.
Don't fall into the trap of 'doing' good things, it's fake and unrewarding. Simply be good, and the good things to do will fall naturally into your path, and good will naturally surround you. Use feeling alive and fresh (not miserable) as your guide, not any rulebook about what you should be doing. But don't mistake the 7 deadly sins sort of stuff for feeling good either. Those don't pass the test of being able to gaze into the eyes of others with love.
I can say these things because I've made the mistakes (and still do). I've related for years to grange-angst music (while stuck inbetween awakening and sorceror mode), but I've outgrown it. It's a long road. My problems now are mostly mundane physical things again.

I intentionally don't respond to some forums just to keep your name up there, but if you're going to brag about it, I have to burst your bubble. Had you merely said 'cool', we both could have been happy about it.